A birthday card to my husband from his side-chick low brow redneck white trash homewrecker.
When the divorce attorney asked me about marriage counseling, I was thrown off for a second, but only a second. Intellectually, I know it is something offered or recommended for many divorcing couples. However, I haven’t thought of it because from day one, I asserted that infidelity would be a deal breaker, and I meant it. I haven’t meant anything so seriously before in my life about relationships as I mean that. If people can bounce back from infidelity and make their marriage work, then good for them. However, I know my limitations. I have wandered through most of my life without a clue or a solid direction; yet, the convictions that I cherish have always seen me through. I trust my convictions. Even when those convictions land me into lonely and miserable country, I keep them as loyal friends. My convictions have been true; have been proven true time and time again. I will not abandon my convictions. They are as dear to me as my instincts.
I don’t accept infidelity. It’s a deal breaker. My mother-in-law tolerated my father-in-law’s cheating. She chased him and his lover all over town, even being arrested on one occasion after he moved out of the house. To this day, she would take him back if he were to have her. That’s nasty and self-degrading. But, some women hold the opinion that having a husband is superior to not having one to the point that they would vitiate themselves before going without a husband.
It’s not the act of sex with someone else outside the marriage that makes infidelity a deal-breaker specifically, although the thought of tolerating that is repugnant to me, it’s what infidelity reveals about a person’s character. It wouldn’t be infidelity if the married couple agreed on outside the marriage sex; however when both parties promise each other that monogamy would be the practice, then outside sex does become infidelity. What infidelity reveals about the cheating spouse’s character is an unforgivable level of cowardliness.
We are all cowardly to an extent. For example, who likes confrontation? Confrontation causes all of our worse anxieties to surface. No one likes it. The entire series of Very British Problems boils down to the desire to avoid confrontation. However, it has to be done, especially when there is a breakdown in a marriage. You must communicate. One of the two cannot go around like a mute idiot. If one spouse becomes unhappy with the marriage, avoids discussing it, and instead begins an extra-martial affair, the very act alone exposes his character weakness, and his desire to humiliate his partner. What spouse in the entire world who has been cheated on has not suffered some type of humiliation? Cheating is an act of passive-aggressiveness. He is too cowardly to confront the undesired problem in the marriage but aggressive enough to want to humiliate his wife. As if I’m the reason for his cowardliness. I have to deal with my own cowardliness when it comes to having to confront people in everyday exchanges, I don’t need to take on or be the target of his cowardliness. Cheating puts the burden on the injured spouse. The injured spouse is left with resolving the conflict that the cheating spouse created when he avoided addressing the initial problem at home.
If the cheating spouse (my louse of a husband) would be allowed to remain in the marriage, it wouldn’t be the daily reminder that he had sex with Cyndie that would grate so much; it would be the daily reminder that he is a weak and cowardly man who does not have the mental fortitude to face life’s problems. Who can respect such a gutless individual? Who can trust a person like that to be a life partner, someone to consider what’s best for the family? A weak and cowardly person is not able to consider what is best for a family as a whole.